Mistakes
by Helen Jones
Summary: Everyone makes mistakes, besides it was 'only Harry', but attempting to find the lost trust proves harder than you may think. d/g
1. Chapter 1

Ginny stood there, looking at him, wondering if he had any emotions at all. What was wrong with him, why didn't he care? When she had told him about the kiss he had just laughed. He laughed cruelly and meanly as if he had seen it coming, as if he had never liked her at all. He noticed her confusion, her hurt of his coldness and he cackled again. The cackle managed to run down her spine making her shake and the run away side of her brain started to kick in, however neither her legs, nor her conscious mind were obeying. Instead she tried to think of a way she could trick him into giving him a clue, or trap him into responding.

His blonde hair glinted coldly like a fallen angels and his eyes were like steel, bitter and protective of his soul. His cold mocking smirk hid any thoughts he may have been thinking and drew her in as it always did.

Why couldn't he show her any emotion, or at least act like it hurt him, like he was breaking up inside like she was. She couldn't even detect any signs of hurt or anger or even of disappointment. He always used to tell her how he felt, she could tell what he meant at times like these; but now, it seemed he either had no emotions or he had a thousand lead walls keeping him away from her.

She wanted to see a fire or, at least a spark. She wanted to hear him scream at him, she wanted to know he was human like her. His coldness angered her and she could feel it boil over, she wanted to scream, or to hit him or to kiss him, or to just fall and cry.

"I'm sorry," She tried again but it was useless, he just stood there as if he could read her thoughts and was waiting for them to stop, waiting for her to shut up. He looked so superior to her then and a passing student could have thought he was telling her off and she would have preferred that, she would have preferred him to say anything. If he loved her the way she loved him then he would say something, he wouldn't try to be superior. She couldn't take it, he didn't want her any more, he didn't love her and he wouldn't even say anything. He would just laugh at her, laugh at her hurt and her anguish.

He seemed to just be pushing her away as soon as she got in, he seemed to welcome her in but then as soon as she started to understand him, to like him, he pushed her away and looked at her as if he were so superior and she were just an insolent first year trespassing on his time. She knew he needed her like she needed him, and she needed him as if he were oxygen so why did he act like he didn't care? How could he put up those walls and not give her a ladder at least?

After five minutes, Ginny began to wonder how he could keep it up, how he didn't leave or tell her to stop babbling. Ginny looked into his eyes again and saw barriers and that was it, just walls, and walls, and walls.

He never used to be like that, not before the kiss, he was so different to her, he was so nice to her but now he looked at her not with hate, or loathing or despair but just as he would look at anyone else, and that was what really tore her up, now she was nothing to him. Had he forgotten those times by the lake where they sat and talked, had he forgotten those hidden kisses, those secret meetings where they would talk until the early morning and confide in each other? She knew some of his secrets and he knew most of hers, he had seemed so interested in them but now it was like he was throwing them back at her like an unwanted gift.

Fighting with him like this was like eating soup with a fork or just continuously banging her head against a wall; he either hated her or just stopped listening a long time ago. How could he not reply, why did he have no emotions? She couldn't think of anything else to say to him to make him reply, she wondered if he could even hear her.

How could that one kiss have made such a difference, it was just Harry after all, she hadn't known what to do and he kissed her, she tried to make him stop but he was in such a bad way she hadn't thought fast enough. Then Blaise had seen them, and despite Ginny and Blaise's growing relationship she had known he would've have gone straight to Draco if she hadn't first. Blaise didn't know the whole story either, just the middle, he hadn't seen Ginny push Harry away from her at the end, or even Harry pulling her to him a the beginning. She had tried to explain this to Draco but he was impermeable,

"I'm sorry," She said for the final time, and she reached out for his hand as she said, "it was a mistake," Then he moved. She was so startled after seven minutes of his silence it hadn't registered in her brain until he was halfway down the hall. He had swiped her hand away, muttered,

"It sure was," and stalked down the corridor, cloak swishing manically around him.

She didn't know what to do; she also didn't know if this was worse than his silence. For lack of a better thing to do, she sunk down to the floor and cried and didn't stop until the morning where that boy, the one who caused it all had picked her up and looked at her, he had brought brown eyes to green ones and though he didn't know it, she loathed him now, because of what he did she was all alone and she hated him more for his ignorance, she pushed him away and sat in the same place and cried long after he had left.


	2. Chapter 2

"This is your fault" Ginny whispered as her unwanted admirer lifted her adeptly from the grubby floor, "This is _your_ fault" she repeated, louder this time so he could hear her, he dropped her hand from his grasp and knotted his eyebrows together,

"Ginny, I- I just want what's best for you and-" He faltered here, knowing what her reply would be before she vocalised it,

"And you think it's _you_?" She almost snarled the words at him, then accidentally dropped her features to the smirk of the boy she had lost. "You think I can't survive without your protection?" All the rage inside her she wanted to vent at Draco, all the rage he had refused her, exploded onto Harry, poor, sweet, ridiculous Harry. Before she knew what she was doing, her hand collided with the-boy-who-can't-do-wrong's face and she was pacing, nearly running, down the corridor to the dungeons.

She found the corridor with surprising ease, shivering in the blackness, and stood outside the portrait that led to Draco's room. She must've stood there for at least half an hour until Blaize's features appeared through the darkness,

"Blaize... I... I have to speak to Draco" Blaize Zambini looked at her as if he had been preparing himself for battle, his features were set in a grimace that still managed to display his disgust.

"I don't think so. You've had your chance and you've fucked it up. I don't know what else to say, he's better off without you." The tone in his voice hurt as much as his words, but ginny know she'd have to press through his anger, he had to understand.

"No. It wasn't me, I swear. I mean... it was _me_ but it came out of no-where, Harry basically jumped me, I pushed him away as soon as I realised what was happening-" at this Blaize scoffed, Ginny paused to hear his contribution,

"As soon as you realised what was happening? Surely realised when he moved towards you? When he drew his face towards yours? When he had his _lips_ on yours?"

"Look, I don't know what happened, it was a...surprise? I was thrown off. And it was a mistake, and I wish to god I'd never even seen him that day, and I... want to explain. I mean... it was only a kiss.. it was only Harry, he doesn't count surely? No, ignore that. But me and Draco, we're not even official, I don't even know what's going on with us. I know that's not an excuse but... oh I've really fucked it up, haven't I? This is big." Blaize seemed to take pity on her pathetic rambles and put an arm around her.

"Ginny, just leave it for a day or two, I'll talk to him and let you know what he's saying. But yes, this is big, but you know Draco, he's a little... melodramatic... I'll talk to you late ok?" Not leaving her time to answer, Blaize gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, then brushed past her, whispered the password to the portrait, and swept into Draco's private Head Boy room.

The scene inside was not pleasant, Draco had stripped his bed of all it's bedding, which was strewn around the room, and had a half drunk bottle of firewhiskey in his right hand, grasping to it as if it were the meaning of life.

"That wench, that's stupid Griffindor wench, of course she'd crawl back to fucking POTTER, of course, I should've seen it..." He embraced Blaize, trusty Blaize, as he had entered and smothered him in the smell of firewhiskey. Blaize took a swig of the Firewhiskey and settled down on Draco's duvet which was situated in the centre of the room; this was going to be a long night.


End file.
